I Forgot About The Party!

So, I never gave anyone an update on Bo's Strike Out Cancer Party. First, I'll do that, then I will tell you why. The party was awesome. I think Bo had a great time. All his best buds, new and old came out to have fun with him. I think we had about 80 or so people there for at least part of the time. About half bowled, but I think EVERYONE ate cake and loved it! A friend gave Bo the best card ever, on the front was a VERY FAT orange striped cat, and on the inside it said "Do you think they'll notice the cake is gone." At one point we had seven lanes going, and we are so glad that so many people came out to be with us. The staff at AMF was terrific, brought us lots of soda and popcorn and we fed them cake, too. It was a great day, but for a few things...

One of our new friends, Bonnie--her kids are the same age as ours, same classes as our kids at school last year--lost her husband to cancer in the week before our party. We were so glad to have them there, but the reality of her loss and seeing her in all her beauty and bravery, but also seeing the sadness in Judson and Sophia was more than a little heart breaking. Jay and I both still sometimes get overwhelmed when we think that we dodged a bullet by a hair and feel very deeply for those who don't.

Also, in the preparations for the party, we were trying to get all our thank you notes done. That exercise has been the hardest part of this whole journey, surprisingly. We knew we might see people at the party whose addresses we never managed to save in a reliable place, and there were a few we wanted to hand deliver. But in order to do that, we had to go back through all the things we did keep, try to organize them. Also, actually read many of the for the first time. And I don't mean that like it sounds. We read every card and e-mail, listened to every phone message when they arrived, but I think a lot of them got lost in the fog. A lot of them I only remembered after reading them the second time, but with that second reading, I also remembered the day they came and the feeling I had the first time.

The cascade of emotion that has accompanied writing thank you notes has been very difficult. It has been sad, but it is also just so overwhelming to process that much love and fear and hope and strength all at one time. It is also so overwhelming when you realize there is just no way to thank people. Even just trying to list everyone is difficult--I feel like I should thank the nice woman at the hospital registration desk who checked us in so many days at 6:00 in the morning with a cheerful smile and an encouraging word. But, unfortunately my handwriting is bad on a good day and the first 50 recipients may be lucky enough to read theirs, the next 100 will be questionable, and at some point the returns are diminished enough to make the effort worthless!

So these last few weeks have in some ways been harder than the first few. In the thick of things we were fighting for a purpose. Every minute, every breath was spentin trying to get the best diagnosis and treatment for Bo. But now, what is our purpose? Hence my voracious reading of books like The Shack, Grace (Eventually), and others too many to name. I keep looking for a purpose. Somehow the universe has given us a gift, the Runs for Bo Fund, especially is meant to serve us in a larger way. We have given all our lives and now it was our turn to receive, and we hope to do so gracefully, acknowledge those gifts the best we can, but keep the cycle going--and in that we will find peace with our experience.

But the party was awesome, something we will repeat again sometime. It is great to have an open party and just see who comes. The expectancy of it all was great. Parties too often get caught up in the rules and expectations of friendship and manners and all that unfun stuff, so this was a welcome diversion, just fun after a not-so-fun summer! Thanks to everyone who came out to help Bo celebrate his burthday and end-of-therapy and thanks to all those who couldn't come but thought about us, anyway! With love, Lisa