Preparing for Cancer

How does one go about preparing for cancer treatment? I guess in an ideal world, we would have started a couple months ago. We would have deep cleaned the house, finished all the landscaping we had planned, replaced the carpeting (We were waiting for Charlie to outgrow his puppy phase, does that ever happen?), and what the hell, maybe we would have had a party, like an engagement party, where you get to tell everyone all about your plans. Then we would have been nice and orderly about the gifts, also. Bo is planning to write some thank you cards today, but I have to admit, we may not do a great job of this--we received so many gifts and cards while we were still in shock that a few times I never bothered to inquire who they were from, and I am positive my mailing lists are not updated. So please forgive us if we miss anyone, or if it takes a long time, we promise to do our best--every single good thought and deed means the world to us, truly.

I read an article yesterday, well, I probably read 12 or so, but two stood out. One is that the majority of mothers who live through childhood cancer show signs of PTSD, some forever. I already feel the possibility. As a trained planner, and one that thrives on stress, even I am confounded. How does one plan the unknowable, and the unthinkable. I worked an assignment with GAO related to military preparedness. It was a short job because while we were prepared to criticize them for not taking adequate steps, their response was "there is no way to prepare that possibility, and if it occurs, there is only one out." When dealing with war, we all know what that means--there is a reason we have nuclear capability... So this is our last day to prepare. We made a notebook to record everything we might need, and Bo and I will go shopping for, probably a diaper bag so that I can carry the notebook, a thermometer, his numbing cream so that he is always ready for port access, even in an emergency, an extra toothbrush, and other stuff like that. And we will join the ranks of overprepared hypervigilant cancer families.

The other article that stuck was one about the psychology of families that succeed in treatment. They have five defining characteristics: 1) a philosophy that lets them get past the "why," 2)a strong social support network, 3) honesty in communication, especially with the child, 4) sibling support, and 5) ability to maintain a normal life in spite of the disease. So I took these things to heart. We never really asked "why," we are not the kind of people who dwell on the unfairness in the world, as I've said countless times, we can only play the hand we're dealt, there is no way to change it. And three four and five have been a given. It has been a little hard to convince others how important it is that we maintain a normal life--in my normal household we would not have a PlayStation. However, that gets to point 2, and in that, we are SO lucky.

And that brings me back to the thank yous and the preparation. We owe so much to so many without whom this journey would be unbearable and terribly frightening. Our friends at the hospital, Nancy, Mike, Dr. Kristin and Paul, Ken, Christie, and I know there are a few others I have omitted. Our friends with knowledge and experience, Bonnie and family, Dr. Steve, Ryan, Mike, Mark, Nancy, Fabiola and family, Bonnie, and the countless others who have gone out of their way to help make sense of the experience. Lara, Bill and family, Mike, Roxanne and family, Mark, Linda and Emerson, Dierek and Barbara, Dr. Teresa and Nancy, Joe and Meredith, Paula and Rick, Deb, George who has special connections to St. Rita, Catherine and the pink nuns, Dwayne and Leah and family, Bo's friend Melissa and family, all the others who have given their own precious time to lighten the load. And of course, Pastor Paul and our church, St. Andrews, and our families. And again, I apologize to anyone I didn't mention specifically!

So, fourth of July was awesome. The picnic at Mojos was fun, tasty and all around perfect. The music was awesome, the Carolina Chocolate Drops are the best, always, but for a July Fourth celebration at Forest Rose park, unbeatable! We watched the fireworks from the absolute BEST spot ever, and next year we plan to be there with a big BBQ, so anyone who wants to join is invited, that way we can secure a BIG spot and plan to stay until the traffic clears. We will be through the cancer mess by then, so it will be fun! West Side Story at Arrow Rock was good, the talent is superb, though the use of canned music does detract for this show, and Maria had a voice that really needed to NOT be amplified--the sound system is not equal to her amazing voice! Today is Cabaret, which runs through next week, so catch it if you can! Then Monday both boys will go to summer school in our attempt to maintain a normal life, and Bo will start treatment on Tuesday.

Thanks again everyone, for everything, every prayer, every thought is appreciated. It is truly priceless to know that if we ever had a need, there are so many people we can call on for help. With love, Lisa